A good friend can be hard to come by, especially when you are an adult. But there are a few qualities to look out for to ensure your new friendship will continue to blossom. There are a number of characteristics that set genuine friends apart from potential fake friends.
So what makes a good friend?
You might have many acquaintances and a handful of friends. But only the best of the best get to be called good friends.
So what sets these amazingly great friends apart from all of your casual friends?
Some of the benefits that we get out of strong friendships:
- having a safe space for venting
- enhanced mental health from emotional support
- improved coping skills when you make mistakes
- they make you a better friend
- provide good advice on an important decision you need to make
If you’re lucky, you’ll find some of your closest friends with a few of these qualities.
The essential qualities of a good friend
There are so many traits of a good friend. But here are a few of what I consider to be the essential personality traits of a great friendship.
A good friend is trustworthy
A trustworthy friend is a friend you should never let go of.
We all know that trust needs to be earned, but you really do need to start somewhere.
And why not give new friends a lot of trust to begin with?
Having trust to begin with is a great way to ensure the friendship has a solid foundation.
You can pour your heart out to a trustworthy friend and know that they are going to be tight-lipped about everything you’ve just said.
You can share private information with them knowing that nothing will become of it because they have your best interests in mind.
A good friend is helpful
Another sign of a good friend is that they are always willing to lend a helping hand in times of need. And sometimes that means getting help whether you’ve asked for it or not.
That might mean dropping something off to you at work or at your house.
It might mean being the designated driver.
It might mean helping you to get professional help in some way.
Or it could also mean picking you up from the hospital 30 minutes from her home in the middle of the night.
Friends are like bras. Some offer great support, while others seem grey and sull after a little while. Some are fancy but have no substance. Great ones are hard to find. When you find a good one, you cherish it forever and hope you never lose it.
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A good friend is supportive
You’ve probably heard the saying good friends are like bras, and supportive. And it’s true.
Without a supportive friend who knows where we might be?
I know I wouldn’t have booked that next session with my psychologist if my friends hadn’t been supportive.
A good friend can be supportive during tough times as well. Offering encouragement (like a little pep talk), some home-cooked meals or even just their company.
A good friend is accepting
We all make the wrong decision at some stage or another.
A good friend is able to accept those mistakes and be accepting of the choices you make in your life.
Sure, you might date someone your friend doesn’t like, but that doesn’t mean they don’t accept that that is your decision.
A good friend accepts your crazy family, your hard-ass boss and your new partner. They also accept your new hair colour, your tattoo choices and your taste in music, even if they occasionally tease you about them.
A good friend is honest
A real friend is an honest friend.
And they are also willing to tell you the truth when it’s called for.
Sometimes a few little white lies might go astray, but honesty is always the best policy.
They’ll be honest about those flared jeans you’re trying to bring back into fashion. They’ll be honest when they tell you what they really think of your new hairstyle.
A good friend lends a listening ear
A good friend listens, and I mean really listens.
They don’t butt in to give their two cents every few sentences.
They listen to you, and let you vent. And then decide whether to ask you any follow-up questions or offer some feedback in relation to what they have just heard.
And sometimes offer some advice too. But they also know the difference between when you want or need their advice.
A good friend is encouraging
A good friend offers encouragement in every possible way.
They’ll encourage you to quit your job, take that job offer, take up a new hobby or ask out that person you can’t stop talking about.
They encourage you to look after yourself and to be a better person, and the best version of yourself.
They encourage you to go big or go home and dream of greater things in life.
A good friend communicates with you
Just like in romantic relationships, friendships also need a great deal of good communication.
And just like being a good listener, a good friend is able to easily communicate with you.
There are so many ways to communicate now; it won’t take too long before you discover the perfect style for your friendship.
Some basic ways to communicate are:
- Phone calls
- Letters (snail mail)
- Text messages or messaging apps
- Facebook messages or groups
- Snapchat
- other social media
A good friend is relatable
A relatable friend is someone who might be in a similar situation in a few areas of their life.
You might be able to relate to them through the work you do, the type of family you have, shared hard times or your similar interests.
And being able to share and learn from each other’s experiences is what helps close relationships.
A good friendship is reciprocal
A true friendship is one that is reciprocal in nature.
That means that you both do things for each other and help each other out. Spending time together, sharing resources and
Which might mean you take turns being the designated driver for squad night.
It might mean you take turns having each other over so your kids can have a playdate.
It might mean that you all chip in when you have a picnic and share your food.
Good friends can be hard to find. But once you find one or two, you’ll undoubtedly want to hang onto them especially if they have several of these positive qualities.
While having these qualities will not make you the perfect friend, they will go a long way to ward off a toxic friend and turn a casual acquaintance into a truly good friend.
