After childbirth, everyone wants to hear your birth story. What you expected, what you experienced and of course what pain medication you had.
My number one goal for the birth of my daughter was to avoid a cesarean. The next goal was to avoid an induced labour. But I was given an induction date at my 40-week appointment. Which was 12 days after my due date. I honestly didn’t try to interfere too much but I felt confident that I could avoid being induced. I had two ‘stretch and sweeps’, the second being a bit more vigorous than the first.  Approximately 50 hours later, I thought I was going into labour. I got up to go to the toilet while watching a movie in bed when a glob of something landed on the floor. It looked like the inside of an egg. A runny outer bit with a darker coloured glob in the middle.

To the hospital, we go

Since I wasn’t sure what to do, I called the hospital. The hospital said they would probably send me home, but I should come in for a checkup.
My husband and I arrived at the hospital at 11 pm Friday night. I was monitored and appeared to be having very mild contractions. But the baby had not yet dropped into position. She was still sitting quite high. The nurses decided that I would be kept in overnight for observation. It was then that I knew I would not be going home until I had my baby. My induction scheduled for the next morning.
I got very little sleep that night due to the increasing contractions and extreme back pain. The back pain only got worse. My Saturday was spent being monitored and walking around the ward, stopping every so often when the pain took my attention.

Quick bathroom selfie while wandering the ward before my waters broke.

At 8 pm I was connected to a machine again. But I was so uncomfortable and felt like I needed to go to the toilet. I buzzed for the nurse to unhook me but after waiting about five minutes I couldn’t wait any longer. Feeling impatient, I decided I would try to go to the toilet and I wouldn’t go back to bed until I had urinated.
That was when my waters broke.
The most accurate way for me to describe my waters breaking was a tsunami. As I was on the toilet, a gush of water laned in the toilet with such force it bounced back out, all over the floor. I felt immediate relief from what I had been feeling but I knew I would be meeting my baby very soon.

Push it

Into a wheelchair and off to a labour suite.  I spent a lot of time swearing until my midwife told me how best to direct my energy. She also told me the best way to hold my legs.
My mum appeared at my side not long after I arrived in the labour room. I had made it very clear to both families that I only wanted my husband present during the birth. However, my mum had just finished her shift on another ward and came to see how I was. She offered to leave as was my original wish but I wasn’t about to send her home to wait for news of her first grandchild’s arrival. I put my mum on ice duty while my husband was at the business end giving me lots of encouragement.
It appeared that I was tearing so a doctor came in to perform an episiotomy. Within three hours of my water breaking, I was holding my daughter. There were no pregnancy surprises here, we were expecting a girl.

She’s here

My daughter arrived at 10.46pm weighing in at 9lb 3.5oz (4180g) on our 3rd wedding anniversary, November 5.
I felt strongly about delayed cord clamping, so my husband cut the umbilical cord after it had stopped pulsing.
The same doctor that performed the episiotomy came back to add a few stitches but left before doing anything. The damage was too extensive, I needed to go to theatre to be repaired. I sat up and was asked to move across to another bed.

I fainted.

When I came there were about 10 staff around me. And I was whisked down to surgery. I remember the anesthetist had beautifully kind eyes, I trusted him immediately. A catheter and spinal block later, I was struggling to stay awake. Luckily a nurse told me that I could sleep. I was in surgery for about an hour. It turns out the tissue was so soft that the stitches kept tearing the tissue.
I finally arrived back in the maternity ward around 3 am. I was exhausted and absolutely famished. My husband had basically been left alone with our daughter while I was in surgery and he was glad to see me.
I received two blood transfusions, as I lost quite a lot of blood during the birth. Later that day I tried to get up to have an assisted shower but fainted again.

Home Time

All up I had four nights in the hospital and three units of blood. Our daughter had no name for a day until we decided on Elise May. Elise was not on our shortlist but May is my middle name, as well as my mother’s middle name.

Going through IVF isn’t easy. Three is so much new information about the reproductive system that you never learned at school. The added physical and mental strain of something so invasive. Not to mention all of the money involved. So here are the 6 lessons I learned from IVF.

How the menstrual cycle actually works

Sure I learned about the menstrual cycle at school, but that really only covers the basics. Now I know that your body often gives you signs of what’s happening on the inside. From hormonal acne to cravings to cervical mucus, I know my body better than I ever have before.

Privacy is overrated

You get to know yourself up close and personal. Along with knowing how the menstrual cycle actually works, I learned where exactly my ovaries were. It was really easy to tell because they felt like they were the size of oranges. Did you know that your cervix can be open or closed, as well as high and low? I had more people see my privates in the lead up to a pregnancy than had ever seen them before: doctors, nurses and several different ultrasound technicians.

Help is given to those that ask for it

Apart from our initial ‘counselling’ session, which was more like a private information session, I attended two more sessions with an IVF counsellor. The first one was after my egg collection but before my transfer. The second one was just after we found out the baby’s gender. During these sessions, I came to so many conclusions by myself, just by saying my thoughts out loud.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of

Apart from my husband and immediate family, no one knew of our struggles to fall pregnant. I was ashamed. And I blamed myself. I didn’t want anyone to take pity on me. I didn’t want anyone to know that I wasn’t perfect.

Anonymous support can be amazing

I joined a few IVF facebook groups. One nationwide, one for the clinic’s brand and eventually an IVF babies due in October, an offshoot of the nationwide group. I rarely asked questions in these groups, mostly giving my thoughts, experiences and encouragement.

Mind over matter

In general, I am not very good with needles. Things like vaccinations and tetanus shots I can deal with. Having blood drawn is another story. During the IVF process, I had approximately 20 blood tests, sometimes every two days. I had to learn to cope with that. It’s a real inconvenience to faint during a blood test. They will generally make you wait there for at least an hour, and they might not let you drive home. On top of the blood tests were the numerous hormone injections, 38 to be exact. I chose to do these myself. I did not want to be faced with the idea of having to them myself after relying on someone else to do them. What if they weren’t there and I wasn’t able to do it?