Being a mum is a rewarding and challenging journey, but it can also feel isolating at times. Finding and making mum friends who understand and support you can make all the difference.

Meeting new people and forming genuine connections isn’t always easy, but it’s worthwhile. 

Understanding the Importance of Mum Friends

Being a new mum comes with a unique set of challenges and joys. Having a support system made up of other new mums can be incredibly beneficial. 

Emotional Support

Parenting is an emotional rollercoaster.

From sleepless nights to the joy of your child’s first steps, there can be a vast range of emotions, just in the first year.

Mum friends can provide a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, and someone who truly understands what you’re going through.

They offer a unique kind of emotional support, as they are often going through similar experiences themselves. 

And knowing you have someone to talk to during tough times can make a world of difference.

Shared Experiences

One of the best parts of having a group of friends who are parents is the opportunity to share experiences.

Whether you’re discussing the latest tantrum phase or swapping tips on dealing with picky eaters, having someone who understands is invaluable.

The shared experiences create a bond and a sense of closeness that makes motherhood a bit easier to navigate.

Often, like-minded mums can offer advice that is far more practical and tailored than what you’ll find in books or online.

For instance:

  • Sleep routines: “My little girl keeps getting out of bed in the middle of the night, did your daughter do that too?”
  • Feeding tips: “Did you feed your baby puree or go the baby-led weaning route?”
  • Behaviour strategies: “How do you handle temper tantrums and discipline in public?”
  • Mental health support: “I’ve been feeling really down lately. Did you experience post-natal depression? How did you cope with it?”

Having these conversations with other mums, who have been there, and done that, can be a lifesaver.

Social Development for Kids

Forming friendships with other mums doesn’t just benefit you; it also has a positive impact on your children.

Kids learn vital social skills by observing and interacting with other children.

When mums arrange a play date, join a local playgroup, or even just meet up at the local playground, they’re providing their children with opportunities to develop social skills.

They learn how to share, resolve conflicts, and develop empathy—skills that are foundational for future relationships.

Additionally, older kids benefit greatly from these interactions, as they navigate more complex social dynamics and build lasting friendships.

Tips for Making the First Move

Taking the first step to make new mum friends can feel a bit daunting, but it’s worth it. Here are some practical tips to help you break the ice and start forming those important connections.

Approach with a Smile

A smile can go a long way in making positive first impressions.

When you approach another mum with a friendly smile, it signals that you’re open, approachable, and genuinely interested in getting to know her.

Smiling not only makes you look more welcoming but also helps put the other person at ease.

Remember, everyone appreciates kindness and a warm disposition.

Next time you’re at the park or a playgroup, try smiling and making eye contact before striking up a conversation.

You might be surprised how far a simple smile can go in starting a new friendship.

Find Common Ground

Finding common ground can make conversations flow more naturally.

When you share interests and experiences, it becomes easier to connect on a deeper level.

Here are some ways to identify common interests:

  • Start with small talk by asking if they live in the local area or if their children attend the same school or daycare.
  • Talk about your kids. This is an easy topic since you’re both mums. Share a funny or relatable story about your child.
  • Discuss common activities and ask about what activities they enjoy with their children, like favourite parks, playgroups, or events.
  • Share parenting tips. You can exchange advice on anything ranging from sleep routines and meal plans to homework strategies and extracurricular activities.

Ask questions and be genuinely interested in their responses. This can help you discover shared experiences and interests that can lay the foundation for a lasting friendship.

Exchange Contact Information

Once you’ve had a good chit chat, it’s time to take the next step and exchange contact information.

This can take you out of your comfort zone, but it’s important to stay in touch.

Here are some tips to make this step more comfortable:

  • Be direct and simply say, “I’ve enjoyed chatting with you. Can we exchange numbers to set up a playdate?”
  • Use social media if phone numbers feel too personal. Suggest connecting on social media first. Mention a specific platform, like Facebook or Instagram, to make it easier.
  • Plan a follow-up. Propose meeting up again to solidify the friendship. It could be as simple as saying something like, “I’d love to continue our conversation. How about we grab a coffee next week?”

By taking the initiative to exchange contact information, you’re showing that you’re serious about building new friendships. 

The first time you try to make new mom friends might not go as planned. But keep at it and you’ll be best friends in no time.

If you are a bit nervous about making friends in person, you could try out some apps to make mum friends.

Building and Maintaining Mum Friendships

Connecting with other mums can provide a strong support network, shared experiences, and great company. But there are a few things you need to do to maintain those friendships.

Regular Meetups

Organising regular playdates or coffee meetups is a fantastic way to bond with other mums.

These gatherings don’t have to be fancy; simple meetups at a local park or a casual coffee shop can do wonders.

Having scheduled meetups gives everyone something to look forward to and helps maintain regular contact.

Consistency is key, so try to set a specific day and time for these get-togethers. It helps to create a routine that everyone can fit into their busy schedules.

Communication

Staying in touch is vital, whether through calls, messages, or social media.

A quick text to check in or a funny meme shared in a group chat can make a big difference.

Communicating regularly shows you care and helps keep the friendship alive even when you can’t meet in person.

Social media can also be a powerful tool. Create a Facebook group or WhatsApp group where you can share updates, plan activities, or just chat about your day.

Staying connected with friends builds a strong bond and ensures that everyone feels included and involved.

Being Supportive

Being a supportive friend involves more than just hanging out together. And supporting each other doesn’t require grand gestures.

Offering a listening ear, encouraging, and celebrating each other’s victories can strengthen your friendships.

When a friend is going through a tough time, a simple message or a small act of kindness can go a long way.

Sometimes, sharing a helpful parenting article or offering to babysit for an hour so your friend can have a break shows that you care.

It’s about being there for each other, both in good times and bad.

Respect Boundaries

Every mum has different parenting styles and personal boundaries.

Respecting these differences is crucial in maintaining a healthy friendship.

Avoid giving unsolicited advice or judging another mum’s choices. Instead, offer support and understanding.

Building and maintaining mum friendships takes effort, but the rewards are immense.

Regular meetups, effective communication, being supportive, and respecting boundaries can help you create lasting and meaningful connections with other mums.

Overcoming Challenges in Making Mum Friends

Making mum friends can be rewarding, but it does come with its set of challenges. Here are some common hurdles and ways to overcome them to build lasting friendships.

Dealing with Rejection

Rejection is never easy, and it can feel particularly personal when trying to make potential mum friends. How can you handle situations when your mum friends exclude you? 

Try your best not to take it personally. Remember that everyone has different circumstances and priorities. A rejection might not have anything to do with you. It could be due to timing or other commitments.

Try to stay positive and not dwell on the rejection. Instead, stay positive and keep reaching out to other local mums.

Learn from your experiences. Reflect on your interactions. Is there something you could improve or do differently next time? Learning from each experience will help you grow.

Be Persistent because building friendships takes time. Keep putting yourself out there. The right connection will come along.

Balancing Time

Being a mum is a full-time job, and finding the time to maintain friendships can be challenging.

Here are some tips to help balance your time effectively:

Schedule Playdates – Combine playtime for your kids with social time for you. Arrange regular playdates that can help both you and your children socialise.

Use Technology – Keep in touch through texts, calls, or social media. A quick message can go a long way when you’re short on time.

Set Priorities – Decide what’s most important and allocate your time accordingly. Sometimes, it’s okay to let go of less critical tasks.

Be Flexible – Understand that both you and your friends have busy lives. Be open to last-minute changes and rescheduling.

Involve Your Family – Try to plan family activities that also include your friends and their family members. This way, you can spend time together without neglecting your family responsibilities.

Balancing time can be tricky, but with a bit of planning, you can enjoy the best of both worlds.

Diverse Parenting Styles

Navigating friendships with fellow mums who have different parenting styles can sometimes be tricky.

The different parenting styles might come up during birthday parties, school events, or while cheering on kids at sports teams.

But there are a few strategies you can use to manage these differences:

Respect your differences. All new parents have their way of parenting. Respecting each other’s approaches without judgment is crucial.

Find common ground by focusing on what you have in common. You can always find shared interests or values even if your parenting styles differ.

Communicate openly if your parenting styles conflict. Discuss it openly but sensitively. Honest communication can clear up misunderstandings.

Set boundaries because it’s okay to set boundaries. Let your friends know what you are and aren’t comfortable with when it comes to your children.

Learn from each other and use these differences as an opportunity to learn. Different perspectives can provide valuable insights and broaden your parenting toolkit.

Making mummy friends is invaluable, and overcoming these challenges will help you build strong, supportive relationships.

Connecting Through Parenthood

Building mum friendships may seem daunting at first, but the benefits are enormous. From emotional support and shared experiences to boosting your child’s social development, having a network of mum friends is invaluable.

Remember, a smile and finding common ground can go a long way. Don’t hesitate to take the first step by exchanging contact information.

Keep in touch through regular meetups, support each other, and respect boundaries to maintain these valuable friendships.

Taking that initial step might feel a bit nerve-wracking, but the lasting friendships and mutual support you’ll gain are well worth it.

So go ahead, make that first move, and start building your village today!