But I’m Not An Old Mum

parent holding child up in front of sunset text overlay i never wanted to be an old mum
I recently read an article about why Sarah from Sarah’s Sage Advice waited to have children. It got me thinking about what my plan was for when I wanted to have children. I never wanted to be an old mum.

When I was a kid I always considered my mother to be old. But in comparison to my friend’s parents, she wasn’t old. She is around the same age as most of them. She is the same age as my mother in law. In fact, they are only 5 days apart. Mind you I never saw my dad as old, even though he is 11 years older than my mother! I never wanted my children to think that I was old.

So I knew that I wanted to have my first child younger than what my mother was when she had me. She was 28 (turning 29) when I was born. Ideally, I was aiming for 25-26.
I diligently waited for my husband to be ready to start a family. I’d been ready for about a year and a half by the time he was ready. I knew better than to push the subject or to take matters into my own hands. Because this was not just my decision to make. It would be a big change for both of our lives. We both needed to be ready.

I really, really wanted a honeymoon baby. What better way to show your partner and child that you love them? Funny story, I thought I might be pregnant on our honeymoon after throwing up on the Ferris Wheel at Disney California Adventure. As luck would have it, actually it wasn’t luck. I don’t think it was divine intervention or kismet. I don’t know what it was. But three years, a few doctors, numerous medications, countless tests and thousands of dollars later, my daughter was born. She is now almost two years old, and I am 31. I’m not an old mum.
Sometimes things don’t quite go to plan. And my journey into parenthood certainly didn’t go to plan.

Quote Monday #154

Be patient and tough; one day this pain will be useful to you - Ovid

Spring Bucket List

I look forward to spring because it means there is more colour in my life, the sun comes out of hiding and it also means that Christmas is just that little bit closer. It’s a great time to get back outside after being stuck inside during the cold winter months. This spring bucket list is the perfect way to ease yourself into the great outdoors.

spring bucket list

Spring Bucket List-2

A lot of this spring bucket list is made up of outside activities. What better way to celebrate the new season than basking in the bright sunshine? I know I will be doing lots of these activities with my daughter. Our zoo memberships expire soon, so I’d like to sneak in one for more visit.

RELATED: Winter Bucket List

All of the items on this list are suitable for all ages. Most of them also make for great family outings or activities. The activities don’t require much equipment. And best of all, most of them cost next to nothing!

Spring Bucket List

  • Go to the zoo/aquarium
  • Make pizza
  • Movie night at home
  • Have a picnic
  • Visit a market
  • Paint
  • Make Slime
  • Visit an op shop
  • Send a postcard
  • Play mini golf
  • Visit grandparents
  • Go to the swimming pool
  • Make paper aeroplanes
  • Visit an indoor play centre
  • Donate clothes & toys

So sign up to my email list to download the printable, stick it to your fridge, then cross off the activities as you complete them!

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What would you add to your spring bucket list?

Quote Monday #153

Gratitude turns what we have into enough - Melody Beattie

Quote Monday #152

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Quote Monday #151

The secret of success is constancy to purpose - Benjamin Disraeli

When Pregnancy Announcements Are Too Much

lady looking anxious. text overlay: when pregnancy announcemnts are too much

black and white female biting nails. text overlay: when pregnancy announcements are too much

Every new pregnancy announcement still sends my brain into a whirl. I thought after getting pregnant with my daughter those feelings would go away. My daughter is now 21 months, and my initial feelings are still the same. My heart jumps into my throat, and my knees go weak. I can’t look away from the screen. I hope that it’s all just a silly prank. If I’m honest, I also think they are an idiot, but that’s a story for another day.
I can’t help but take it personally. It’s like the universe is constantly reminding me. I know they are not trying to shove it in my face or rub it in, but that’s how it feels.
Don’t get me wrong, I am usually incredibly happy for them, but I can’t seem to put my struggles aside.

So how do I cope with a pregnancy announcement?

I generally treat each pregnancy announcement differently. How close am I to this person? Do I have any background information to support how I should feel? I analyse it in a few ways before I publicly react. Sometimes it takes me a few days to offer my congratulations. Sometimes I will offer a generic ‘congratulations!!’ on the facebook post. I might wait to congratulate them in person if I know that I will be seeing them soon. If I know a bit more about the situation, I will send them a personal message either via facebook or text message. Then there are the few occasions that I just ignored it altogether.
I will attend the baby shower. I will put together a thoughtful and useful gift. More often than not I will also crochet a personalised toy. I think people have come to expect it after all this time.

How would you know?

Particularly when it comes to getting pregnant, many people keep their struggles a secret. And I understand why. I didn’t want to open myself up to the suggestions because yes, we had tried everything. We tried relaxing. We tried ovulation kits. I tried natural herbs. We tried special lubricants. I felt ashamed that my body wasn’t working in the way that it should. I certainly didn’t want anyone to know that I wasn’t perfect.
During my injections for IVF, I found out that one of my friends was expecting. I was told to my face, so I didn’t have anything to hide behind. I’m now embarrassed by my reaction. I said “that’s great” then gave them a thumbs up. Then I walked outside.

About a month and a half after my egg collection for IVF I decided that I needed to see someone about the feelings that I was having. The main thing I got from that conversation was how would you know? How would I know that my friends didn’t struggle to get pregnant? I didn’t ask. I didn’t offer up any more than my simple well wishes. So who am I to judge and have these feelings towards people not knowing anything about the situation?

What if a friend said that to you?

Not long after my pregnancy reached 12 weeks, I felt that I needed to talk to someone again. This time I had the revelation myself after venting out loud. Think about the negative things you tell yourself. How would you react if it was a friend telling you the same thing? You would tell them to stop being silly.
I shared this wisdom with a friend recently. She was worried about getting in the pool as her body was not the same as it was before she had her handsome little boy. I asked her to think about what she would say if I were the one making a fuss about my post-baby body. She agreed that she would say that I was silly, then she jumped in the pool.

I’m sure it is just one of those things that will get better with time. I also hope it will be a little while before the next pregnancy announcement,

Quote Monday #150

My favourite thing is to go where I've never been - Diane Arbus

Pregnancy Surprises

pregnant woman in front of window text overlay: Things I Surprised Me During Pregnancy

pregnant woman doing yoga text overlay: pregnancy surprises

I was one of the lucky ones. I had it really easy, with no pregnancy surprises. I didn’t have experience high blood pressure, gestational diabetes or Hyperemesis Gravidarum. You could even say that I enjoyed it. That’s not to say there weren’t a few things that surprised me about being pregnant.

Morning Sickness

For me, morning sickness was not what I was expecting it to be. I only actually threw up about 10 times, and only once did I throw up twice in one day. But I constantly felt sick, like I was going to throw up. This made it hard to want to eat or drink anything. After about week 20, the sick feeling began to fade but I still

Swelling

My oh, my! Nothing seemed to help the swelling in my feet. I sat at work with my feet up, only slightly elevated. I did work at a computer desk after all. I lived in a pair of compression stockings, like the ones you get after surgery or when flying. But they made no difference towards the end. My poor toes looked like little sausages.

Reflux

Some nights the reflux was that bad, I tried sleeping propped up on a few pillows. I was lucky that the medication I used did help. Although it was taken in a more preventative manner, rather than as a quick fix.

Constipation

I became constipated quite early on. I searched online for some solutions and decided to try pear juice. I managed to find it in the supermarket and gave it a go. It was really unusual to basically drink a pear. Pear juice did not quite do it for me. So I switched to an old faithful, Metamucil. For the last two or so months of my pregnancy, I was having a dose in the morning and another dose at night.

Week 39

By the time I made it to week 39, I had an insatiable hunger that just did not seem to be curable. My stretch marks had also been pretty mild but seemed to explode into being during week 39. They became agonizingly itchy. I was applying lotion several times a day just to get some relief.

Quote Monday #149

Reject your sense of injury, and the injury itself disappears - Marcus Aurelius