Going through IVF isn’t easy. Three is so much new information about the reproductive system that you never learned at school. The added physical and mental strain of something so invasive. Not to mention all of the money involved. So here are the 6 lessons I learned from IVF.

How the menstrual cycle actually works

Sure I learned about the menstrual cycle at school, but that really only covers the basics. Now I know that your body often gives you signs of what’s happening on the inside. From hormonal acne to cravings to cervical mucus, I know my body better than I ever have before.

Privacy is overrated

You get to know yourself up close and personal. Along with knowing how the menstrual cycle actually works, I learned where exactly my ovaries were. It was really easy to tell because they felt like they were the size of oranges. Did you know that your cervix can be open or closed, as well as high and low? I had more people see my privates in the lead up to a pregnancy than had ever seen them before: doctors, nurses and several different ultrasound technicians.

Help is given to those that ask for it

Apart from our initial ‘counselling’ session, which was more like a private information session, I attended two more sessions with an IVF counsellor. The first one was after my egg collection but before my transfer. The second one was just after we found out the baby’s gender. During these sessions, I came to so many conclusions by myself, just by saying my thoughts out loud.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of

Apart from my husband and immediate family, no one knew of our struggles to fall pregnant. I was ashamed. And I blamed myself. I didn’t want anyone to take pity on me. I didn’t want anyone to know that I wasn’t perfect.

Anonymous support can be amazing

I joined a few IVF facebook groups. One nationwide, one for the clinic’s brand and eventually an IVF babies due in October, an offshoot of the nationwide group. I rarely asked questions in these groups, mostly giving my thoughts, experiences and encouragement.

Mind over matter

In general, I am not very good with needles. Things like vaccinations and tetanus shots I can deal with. Having blood drawn is another story. During the IVF process, I had approximately 20 blood tests, sometimes every two days. I had to learn to cope with that. It’s a real inconvenience to faint during a blood test. They will generally make you wait there for at least an hour, and they might not let you drive home. On top of the blood tests were the numerous hormone injections, 38 to be exact. I chose to do these myself. I did not want to be faced with the idea of having to them myself after relying on someone else to do them. What if they weren’t there and I wasn’t able to do it?

I recently read an article about why Sarah from Sarah’s Sage Advice waited to have children. It got me thinking about what my plan was for when I wanted to have children. I never wanted to be an old mum.

When I was a kid I always considered my mother to be old. But in comparison to my friend’s parents, she wasn’t old. She is around the same age as most of them. She is the same age as my mother in law. In fact, they are only 5 days apart. Mind you I never saw my dad as old, even though he is 11 years older than my mother! I never wanted my children to think that I was old.

So I knew that I wanted to have my first child younger than what my mother was when she had me. She was 28 (turning 29) when I was born. Ideally, I was aiming for 25-26.
I diligently waited for my husband to be ready to start a family. I’d been ready for about a year and a half by the time he was ready. I knew better than to push the subject or to take matters into my own hands. Because this was not just my decision to make. It would be a big change for both of our lives. We both needed to be ready.

I really, really wanted a honeymoon baby. What better way to show your partner and child that you love them? Funny story, I thought I might be pregnant on our honeymoon after throwing up on the Ferris Wheel at Disney California Adventure. As luck would have it, actually it wasn’t luck. I don’t think it was divine intervention or kismet. I don’t know what it was. But three years, a few doctors, numerous medications, countless tests and thousands of dollars later, my daughter was born. She is now almost two years old, and I am 31. I’m not an old mum.
Sometimes things don’t quite go to plan. And my journey into parenthood certainly didn’t go to plan.